Melania Trump at the Republican convention

Thank you! Thank you very much! I am so proud of you! Keep clapping, all right, louder, louder I said, ok, shut up now!

Melania TrumpI am here tonight because of you. The truth is that I need your attention to feel beauty and smart, as I told to Donald a few minutes ago, just before coming in from the backdoor, ehm, sorry, I mean from the backstage.

Dear white people, you will make America great again as you will work so hard while we will get a long lasting tan on our yacht, you won’t even have the time to breath. Working and producing and working and producing, as more and as well as you can! Regarding black people instead, they will be sent back to Africa with Ups, which is our official sponsor and will be in charge for the human shippings’ program.

As a result, those amid you who will stay, will have the privilege to serve their God and unique patron: my husband, Donald J. Trump!

You will be allowed to show your big guns wherever, even at school. If your professors want to give you an F, just shoot them! Shoot whoever talks to you! Nobody will need to speak any longer, as all of you will be offered the newest models of Smarthphones for free. You will be so excited with your new toys in your hands, you will have the perception that talking is useless and old-fashoned, an activity for homeless people only. But don’t worry, the good news is that we will kick out homeless people too! Together with Muslims and Mexicans.

Now, I have to confess that the following couple of lines might sound strange to you, as I copied them from Michelle Obama. I told to myself: these poor people out there won’t recall every single word of Michelle Obama’s speech! So… let me give a look… Oh, I will tell you now about our childhood. So, Donald and I were extremely kind and sweet. We grew up with qualities and love. What this means is that I always knew the quality of the jewelries I loved!

We are sure we transmitted these qualities to our children, and we will do the same for you indeed. You american people will finally realize that: He is the gay! Oh, I am so sorry for my accent, I didn’t mean that Donald is sick! I wanted to say: He is the guy!